Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live in the mind of a Psychopath! They definitely have an alternate reality than what I, and most people I know have.
Divorcing a psychopath seems to continue long after the ink has dried and when you have kids together, it gives the Psychopath that tie that binds you, much longer than you want.
The Psycho Ex has been going to my children’s after school program and pulling them out to visit with him in the parking lot or the playground there. I am finally wise enough to understand that this is not a genuine “I love my children and really care about their well being” action on his part. I would love for it, him… (no IT) to be that way. That is all I ever wanted; a loving husband that loved our children and me. What I unfortunately discovered was that I had a narcissistic psychopath who has no conscience and has no idea what “love” means.
He does however, put on a very good show for those that don’t really know him.
The dad that comes to see his kids after school.
The same guy who was intentionally pulling them out so they could not get their homework done and the kids were so tired by the time we got home that it was a battle to get them to finish it. “It’s your mom’s night to do homework. We’re going to play football.”
This is just another way to try to manipulate and in his mind he gets to “punish me” but making sure that there is plenty of homework for me to help them with every night when I get home from work. The other benefit is he gets his narcissistic fix with adoration from his sons thinking that he is awesome because he pulls them out of homework room to go play and tells them they don’t have to do it.
It’s hard enough being a single mom and trying to get you and your kids on a schedule that works with all the demands on your time, then to have the other parent come in and negate everything you have set in place is infuriating!
I finally had it and told Psycho Ex that this was not working and he was not going to be able to go see them anymore after school, that I help them every night with their homework but they are too tired to get all their homework done after I get home and that I it is having a negative affect on their homework and sleep.
Psycho Ex apparently took that to mean, “You told me no, so I’m going to do it anyway and just tweak it so that you look silly to tell me not to see them.” So lately, he tries to at least help them with some of their homework, although this is still has no consistency.
However, I know all to well that there is always an ulterior motive when dealing with a psychopath. Since he previously texted me when school started that he can take the kids everyday after school instead of me sending them to after school care, I have a feeling this is related to that. I also have an enforcement action pending against him for failure to pay child support and I imagine he is going to try to pull an “I’m such a great dad” routine in court. In addition, I think my Psycho Ex is intentionally doing this as an intentionally violation of the protective order I have against him. He wants to be there in the parking lot when I come to get the kids to “let me know the rules don’t apply to him and that he will do what ever he wants.” I’m sure in his mind the kids are his possession and he will see them whenever he likes.
I’m doing my best to juggle work and trying to be the mom I want to be and keep my kids in their activities that they had before the divorce. I had to pick up the kids early this week to get them to karate on a day we do not normally go on. Psycho Ex doesn’t go see them every day… reliability and accountability aren’t in his vocabulary… but I had a feeling he would be there this day so I texted to ask him to leave if he was there that I have to get them early.
“Grrrr I just pulled up. Ran late due to a webinar. Please tell me these things sooner in the future. Thank you. What’s your ETA? I’m going to run in and say hi so they’ll know I came.” He replies.
“5 min,” I said. What I really wanted to say was, “”Grrr’? — What is “Grrr”? –I’m not your girlfriend. And really, your not supposed to be there period.”
“K. Leaving now. Please try to remember to let me know if you’re picking them up early. All we have to do is communicate and this can be good for all of us. Especially the boys and that’s what matters most. Thank you.” Psycho replies.
I really try not to let what he says get to me but sometimes I really can’t hold in the frustration I have at his delusional reality. He hasn’t paid child support in months and has filed bankruptcy, right after going on a 2 week vacation, getting a new car and continues to take the crazy ‘ho he had the affair with and now lives with to expensive dinners and shopping.
I’ve wanted to scream, “don’t you need to be working” all those times that he intentionally interrupted the kids activities I’m struggling to pay for so I that I can work. Again, in the Psycho’s mind, you are supposed to praise him for any action he does that is good and overlook the multitude of horrid things he does or says.
I knew I shouldn’t engage but I was tired, in a hurry, and had reached my limit of ignoring his stupid, manipulative comments.
“You mean as long as it’s in your favor. Child support for their food and other necessities doesn’t seem to matter much to you, just favors of when you get to see them.”
“Favors? It’s sad that you don’t see the benefit to the boys. You claim to only care about what’s best for the boys but letting them spend as much time as possible with their dad isn’t on that list. That’s very very sad.” “Sad on multiple levels. It’s extremely said for the boys.”
OMG!! Talk about manipulative BS!!!!! Are you kidding me?!
“Coming from the guy who doesn’t pay his child support,” I said. Seriously, what reality does he live in? That’s what is extremely sad!
Oh what a minute…
this is the same Psycho that this time last year texted me that he could not believe that he had CPS (Child Protective Services) called on him and that he should report me to CPS because I let my 8 year old son buy a Guinness Book of World Records. In his reality, beating, strangling, and threatening to kill your wife in front of your child is on the same level as buying a Guinness Book of World Records.
That explains it all!