My Week in Hiding- Fleeing from a Narcissist/ Psychopath

I needed to get legal advice about what to do.  I found out my husband was having an affair and also found out about other women he had been with over the years that I had no clue about.

He was always a Jekyll and Hyde personality with mood swings that could change on a dime.  He could be very charming and generous and 10 seconds later the most verbally abusive person you’ve ever met.

I had fled my home with my 2 year old and 4 year old after his communication turned threatening.  I was afraid of what he would do to me if I was around him, and I was still in shock from what I had discovered the afternoon before.  I literally felt like I had been hit with a 2×4 and my head was still spinning.

I spent the night in a hotel in a neighboring town crying my eyes out.

How is this my life?!  What am I going to do?

I know him.  He goes for the jugular on little arguments.

He’s a control freak on a normal day and now I’ve found out about his affair and he is angrier than he ever has been.

Shouldn’t he be apologizing for having the affair?  Shouldn’t he be saying, “I love you Avery and I don’t want to loose you.  I made a mistake.  Please forgive me.”

That’s NOT what he said.  Not even close.  He went from denial to threats in 2.3 seconds.

I’m running through every scenario of what will happen as I sat fully clothed in the hotel tub crying my eyes out while my 2 and 4 year olds are sleeping.  I don’t want my kids to see me like this.  My whole world shaken.

Damn him!  Why is he doing this to our family?!

Every scenario ends the same — ‘Avery, you know what he will do.  He will go for the jugular.  What will hurt you the most?  Taking the kids and wiping out the bank accounts.’

My head knew this was true and my heart was still reeling that the person I loved and trusted for 20 years was cutting me to the bone and ready to rip my throat out because I found out he was cheating.

I needed to get back to my own city so I could meet with an attorney and have easier access to the places I know.  I knew I couldn’t go home even though his mom had convinced him to go stay at her house and give me some space.

I decided I would book a hotel fairly close to home but somewhere I knew he wouldn’t look.  I decided to use my credit card and book a 4 or 5 day stay so that it wouldn’t charge to my card until I had time to meet with an attorney.

I used our Sam’s Club card to buy gift cards and get a little cash so that I could use those for gas and food and not be traced though the debit card transactions.

I took the kids to McDonald’s in a different location each day for dinner so they could call and talk to Dad but he would not be able to find us when he started quizzing them about where they were.  Luckily there are at least 5 different McDonald’s we could go to spread out over the area and we usually called at the end of our time there.

This also gave the kids a play scape to play on while I made calls to an attorney or a friend to help me figure out what to do.  It’s not easy for 2 and 4 year old boys to be cooped up in a hotel room all day and I didn’t want them to hear my conversations about their dad.

I lost 10 pounds in that first week.  I couldn’t eat; I couldn’t sleep.  At times my body would get so cold I would shake uncontrollably… and this was July in Texas so it wasn’t cold.  It was like what my body did after I gave birth to my son, only this time it wasn’t a joyous shock to my system.

I cried myself to sleep every night and worried, “what am I going to do?”

I met with an attorney that week and also received some more terrifying news.  This was one of the lowest times of my life.

I wish I could tell you this was the worst week of my life, but almost exactly 2 years later, it got MUCH worse…