I’m writing this because so many of us face divorce at some point in our life, especially after we discover infidelity, and it is one of the hardest things we will ever go through. But if you discover that the person you married and devoted your life and love to is not only a narcissist but an actual psychopath, your struggle is 10 times harder.
Psychopaths are not reasonable or realistic.
They live in an alternate reality and they don’t know the meaning of fair or just. Hurting the other person is a game to them. A game they enjoy!
50% of first time marriages end in divorce. If you are like me, you probably never wanted divorce.
I dreamed of having that “partner in life”, someone that was a best friend sharing in everything and growing old together. My parents divorced when I was a teenager and I never wanted my kids to go through that.
I strongly believed that my kids needed both parents under the same roof and that I had to be strong enough to withstand the constant belittling from a controlling spouse.
After 22 years together, a business together, and two small children, I was faced with learning the hard way that my belief was detrimental to both me and the kids. Hanging on to that belief almost cost me everything, including my life.
So while I still believe that the best situation is to have both parents under the same roof, there are some situations in which that doesn’t apply and you actually harm your children by staying.
I’m writing this blog for many reasons. The first and probably foremost is because going through this has been the worst time of my life and I’m hoping that maybe I can help someone else going through this horrifying process.
There are so many things you need to watch out for and learn when dealing with a psychopath and you often don’t realize what you are dealing with for quite some time. They tend to be charming and manipulative to the point of brainwashing you while you are with them. You don’t really see the full extent of their character until you break away.
If you are dealing with a psychopath, they don’t care about you and their GOAL is to hurt you any way they can. They will use manipulation, threats, deceit and often abuse. They will go after what hurts you the most and will never play fair.
I have learned so much over the last 2 years that I didn’t know when this started; everything from dealing with the hurt and betrayal, the pitfalls of counseling, the good and the bad of the legal system, and the lack of understanding of those around you that don’t know this person like you do.
I’m hoping to share my experience with others so that they get the information sooner and don’t make the same mistakes I did. I’ve learned so much about narcissism, abuse, psychopaths, and how the legal process can get you down even more. I’m hoping to help others who feel stuck and defeated get through the process of divorcing a psychopath and get back to a loving and happy place.