After receiving threatening texts and phone messages, I’m loading my 2 year old and 4 year old in the car in a mad dash to flee my home before my husband returns early from his “business” trip. I’ve just confronted him by phone after finding an online chat in progress between him and some woman I’m still trying to determine the identity of and how he knows her.
He called. I didn’t pick up. I was too mad and crying at the same time. He was the last person I wanted to talk to!
He left a message, “I’m just checking on you. Are you okay? Please give me a call.”
A few minutes later, he calls again, only this time he’s more aggravated and angry. “Pick up the phone! I need to know what is going on.”
He starts texting and leaving messages that start getting more threatening and I’m starting to get scared. “You better lawyer up Bitch!” was one of his messages.
As I have since discovered, like many victims of verbal and physical abuse, I had not told my family much about the Mr. Hyde side of him. I knew his mom would get over whatever bad thing happened because it was her son and talking to her would be easier if he and I reconciled. It would be easier for her to forgive him than it would be for my family to forgive him.
I had been close to his mom and called her. I told her some of the stuff I found in the chats without giving her all the horrible details, about all the threats he was leaving and that I was really scared he would come home early.
She had her own dealings with him before when he cut off all contact with her for a year and would not let her have contact with our 1 year old son. She had also witnessed the verbal abuse and his controlling nature in our relationship.
She said, “You don’t need to be there when he gets back. Get out and get some legal advice.” I was crying my eyes out. Is this really happening?
I started checking possible flight times that he might arrive back home. The earliest flight I thought he could be on was less than 2 hours away.
With tears in my eyes, I started throwing a few changes of clothes for me and each of the kids, credit cards and all financial info I could find in a bag and loaded my kids in the car. I wiped away my tears and tried my best to act normal for my kids.
I literally drove around in circles not knowing where to go or what to do, trying not to cry in front of my kids. Things continued to get worse and more threats started coming in…
I decided I needed to go somewhere he could not find me and couldn’t trace where I was through a credit card or bank account. I called a friend and asked her to please book me a hotel room in a neighboring town on her credit card and I would pay her back.
When they ask, through tears held back and a forced smile, I tell my kids we are going on an adventure. (Not an adventure I ever wanted any of us on.) We check into the hotel about the same time my husband arrives back in town.
Then he starts calling. “I want to know where my kids are.” “You better call me right now or I’m going to come do everything you ever worried I might.” “You better bring my kids back to me right NOW!.”
Being scared to death and trying to act normal for your 2 and 4 year old is not an easy task. Then add fits of crying and throwing up in the bathroom while kids watch cartoons and it’s even harder.
His voicemails and texts kept coming in. “I’m going to call the police and tell them you kidnapped my kids and you’re going to jail.”
Ok, I’m in a horrible emotional state but are you serious? Do you think I’m that stupid? They are my children too. They are not kidnapped and I’m pretty sure the police would understand. But this is exactly how a narcissistic / psychopath will threaten you when they feel backed up against a wall. They are not rational.
That night after putting my kids to bed, I sat fully clothed in the hotel bathtub crying my eyes out so they couldn’t see me.